Monday, December 15, 2008

Today I'm "that guy"

Yeah, I'm back, sorry about being M.I.A.

Thursday morning - Princess' annual check-up = 3'3" (90th percentile), 30 lbs (60th percentile) and Pink Eye - whoo hoo for mom and dad!

Thursday evening - Husband complains of back-ache/spasm (there have been a number of people laid off at his company - can we say "s-t-r-e-s-s"?).

Friday - Stayed home with Pinky and Husband went to work - it was my turn to stay home with a sick child anyway. Husband claimed that he would come home by mid-day - ha ha ha ha ha. Stuck at home with no car and Pinky watching Sponge Bob and various other cartoons. Husband did not get home until after 5:00pm and declared that he battled a stomach virus all day and couldn't leave work because "I had a project that no one else could handle". Um, yeah.

Friday thru Sunday - Husband insists on being a martyr. He lays on the living room couch huddled under blankets complaining about how bad he feels. Husband does not realize that 3 year old Pinky is a better patient than him. I run errands and keep her out of his hair as best as is possible. He sleeps in son's room. Pinky, somehow, ends up with me. I just keep trying not to touch my

On Saturday afternoon I catch a break - they are both napping at the same time! I run to Michael's, Barnes & Noble and Kohl's. I get home and drag out all the holiday gifts...dividing them into recipient piles - noting the ones that need to be mailed...and soon.

Sunday is more of the same from Saturday - except I finally look at my mom's pile of presents. My mom whose birthday is December 21st. My mom who needs 2x everyone else (in theory - give or take). And all I have is an Totes umbrella and a scarf I knit. That's all! I do this EVERY year - I could kick myself! I also realize that I accidentally purchased - weeks ago - the wrong size frames for two gifts. So I scramble to find the receipts to return the original frames, grab some coupons for Ann Taylor Loft and head out to replace and purchase presents for my mom. Surprisingly, everything went well. The frames were slightly more expensive - didn't break the bank though. And I used my coupons to the max - so my mom gets something nice - and I spent a bit less. All is well that ends well.

But today is Monday - and today I'm "that guy" (though no one bothered to copy me on the memo!!!).

I had to be at work for an 8:00am meeting. No biggie. One earlier train than usual. Get up, blindly go through my routine, stop at the bagel shop for coffee, walk to the train station. But the cup, in hand, does not feel right. Did the new guy give me a full cup? Is it my imagination? Whatever. I take a couple sips before the train arrives and its all good.

But the train arrives. And I get on. And as I'm turning to sit down, the cup, that felt weird, slips from my hand and smacks the explodes every-EVERY-where. And I've got nothin. No napkins. No tissues. Nada. The train starts to move and I think..."hey, I'll put the mouth of the cup on the floor and get some of the java river back into the cup". But, duh, the cup is Styrofoam and is about 1/4" think - it's acts like a wall instead of a basin. Darn it! We pull into the next station and I panic. I pick up my stuff from the seat and say "I'm so sorry, I accidentally spilled my coffee and am going to see if I can find something to help clean it up". Two men grumble at me. Honestly, I did give it a half-hearted try. I looked for a bathroom - but they only have air paper towels. Urgh. I slunk away into another car and sat downstairs. I took my red coat off and hid it between my knees in case the Coffee Police came looking for "the girl with the red coat". What a start to the morning.

Then the caterers were late for the breakfast set-up and we never got hard copies of a presentation and it just spiraled from there.

By the way - the moon was full on December 12th - so I'm placing the blame on it!

Knitting highlights for the weekend:

1. Finished the "Climbing Vines" bulky scarf and made a matching hat - gifted to recipient today
2. Started (from stash) a raglan sweater from Casey - it's turning out super cute (photos to come)
3. Made a replica Santa pillow from a crochet pattern my mom used to use. It's FAR from perfect, but it looks ok for a first try (photos to come). Will probably make a second one using two strands each

** Bonus points for sharing a story from when you unknowingly received the "That Guy" Award **


Sarah said...

Men are really the worst patients, aren't they? My husband claims he never gets sick, but then when he does, he's a big whiny baby.

Elaine said...

Well my best ever "that guy" story is from when I was in high school. I grew up in NYC and had an 1 1/4 hour subway commute each way on the train. there was a whole group of us who rode the subway together in the morning. As seniors we took a course in hematology and urine analysis (lovingly called pis and puss). Each day we had to bring in a bottle of urine with our first morning sample - get up at 5:30, pee in a bottle with a tight cover, out of the house by 6:30, run to the train, ride the subway for an hour and a quarter, run to school from the train and be there before 8 am when the bell rang. Well - OK. I had the drill down and we each had our little bottles with us every day, and were careful. At the end of each day we emptied out the bottle, rinsed it out, and brought it home to be refilled. At least I thought that was what everyone did. But not one of the guys in our group. He had a big gallon jar in his locker and collected the whole semester's worth of urine. On the way home from school the last day, in late June when it was 90 degrees or more on the subway, we were riding home and he was carrying his gallon jug full of year-old pee. I scored a seat on the subway, and he asked me to hold his bottle. I gave the obligator - ewww - I'm not touching that, so he stuck it down next to me with something over it so no one would see. Well ... our stop came, I grabbed my stuff, forgot about his bottle, it hit the floor, broke and the most foul-smelling stuff ever came pouring out - not a cup worth, a gallon! Well, that cleared the car in an instant and I won the "that guy" award.

And I think I deserve 2 points for that confession :-)

choo choo knits said...

Elaine, my dear, I think you need 5 points for THAT story...ewwwwwww

Unknown said...

Welcome back. Love your "that guy" story.

Mine (the things we do for extra points!):

I had to phone someone for a professional meeting. I phoned, mentioned my name and he was having trouble placing me. Finally he said, your name is familiar - have we met. Yes. Where. X meeting. Hmmm - are you that guy who spilled his coke all over the place?

Yup - that was me!

Notice we all spill things. Way to make a mark! Way to be remembered. Well, at least I wasn't "that guy who spilled antique pee in the subway"

Elaine said...

Thank you. I'd like to say that I just invented it for the contest, but unfortunately it is all true. Ewwww indeed! There are probably songs about it. Certainly grandfathers tell their grandkids about the day they were stuck in the subway with "that guy"

Unknown said...

I became "that guy" one day in high school. My mom made the best hummus and I really loved it so one day she made me a hummus sandwich for lunch. Yum yum, but what I didn't think of was that it was loaded with garlic and during gym when I was perspiring, the garlic was oozing out of every pore. I can guarantee you that I became "that guy". I still afraid to go to a reunion.

Unknown said...

We're getting down to the count here.

My that guy story is:

I was walking through a store one day during winter. The store sold parakeets or canaries or some sort of caged bird. I was wearing a hat and evidently one of the birds escaped from the cage, was flying through the store, and people were trying to catch it. Unknown to me it landed on my head just before I walked out the door. Lots of people were shouting and pointing, but I figured it didn't have anything to do with me since I hadn't done anything. I was figuring there was someone else shoplifting or something. HA. I opened the door, walked out, and the bird escaped. I was that guy who not only let the bird escape, but actually carried it out on my head.

MoniqueB. said...

It's very nice to read that you're 'that guy' too this week.
My week wasn't that well either. I've filled up everyday last week with that guy things. Awefull.
Did you go back to the guy at the coffee stand?